Saturday, January 16, 2010
It feels a bit like a week one recap all over again since this was the first week of practice at the shala. I can’t really express how good it felt to be back in the shala, and while it does have a different energy now that Guruji has left his body. Part of that energy is a reverence and part a steadiness. My last three trips have had a bit of sadness and general confusion but now the overall mood it less chaotic and that is a very nice vibration to align with. I have not had one of those frenzied first day nervy practices. I guess it only took 3 trips to work that out.
(5) 3:30 am wake up calls
(10) drop backs
(8 ) Short Stories read
(12) Yoga Sutra’s burned into memory
(4) 2+ hour long sessions with Jayashree and Narasimha
(10) mosquito coils purchased
(100’s) curry leaves consumed
Jill Margraff asked my in a facebook post if I was alright. I feel like I made her worry about me. What I am learning about myself it that I do get homesick. It is a weird feeling because I have yet to really claim Providence as my home. I often feel homesick there as well. I think that I feel homesick for a time when I really had a yoga home. A time when I felt like a member of a community and gave and received inspiration nearly continually. Memory weighs heavy.
I also noticed this week that my heart is super soft. When people push me in at the gate in the morning I nearly cry. I had one of those days yesterday when I was amazed by the way the “yogis” behave. These feelings have not been limited to the yogis in Mysore. I kept hearing Narasimha saying that the yama’s and niyama’s train our humanity…the yama’s and niyama’s as a practice are designed to awaken our own humanness.
I am happy to get back to practice tomorrow although I did need these two days of rest.
I hope everyone back home (where ever that is for you) is playing their edges, softening their heart and awakening humanity from the inside out.