Saturday, January 16, 2010

Week #2

It feels a bit like a week one recap all over again since this was the first week of practice at the shala. I can’t really express how good it felt to be back in the shala, and while it does have a different energy now that Guruji has left his body. Part of that energy is a reverence and part a steadiness. My last three trips have had a bit of sadness and general confusion but now the overall mood it less chaotic and that is a very nice vibration to align with. I have not had one of those frenzied first day nervy practices. I guess it only took 3 trips to work that out.

(5) 3:30 am wake up calls
(10) drop backs
(8 ) Short Stories read
(12) Yoga Sutra’s burned into memory
(4) 2+ hour long sessions with Jayashree and Narasimha
(10) mosquito coils purchased
(100’s) curry leaves consumed

Jill Margraff asked my in a facebook post if I was alright. I feel like I made her worry about me. What I am learning about myself it that I do get homesick. It is a weird feeling because I have yet to really claim Providence as my home. I often feel homesick there as well. I think that I feel homesick for a time when I really had a yoga home. A time when I felt like a member of a community and gave and received inspiration nearly continually. Memory weighs heavy.

I also noticed this week that my heart is super soft. When people push me in at the gate in the morning I nearly cry. I had one of those days yesterday when I was amazed by the way the “yogis” behave. These feelings have not been limited to the yogis in Mysore. I kept hearing Narasimha saying that the yama’s and niyama’s train our humanity…the yama’s and niyama’s as a practice are designed to awaken our own humanness.

I am happy to get back to practice tomorrow although I did need these two days of rest.

I hope everyone back home (where ever that is for you) is playing their edges, softening their heart and awakening humanity from the inside out.


jude said...

Jilly, sounds as though you are achieving your goal. I miss and love you.

Maysa said...

Tell those "yogis" to calm down