Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Major Meltdown...Mysore Coming

Yesterday it happened. Like a giant damn broke in my body and I just lost it. Trying to put a life together out of Providence thin air is really no small thing. There are some things that seem to be coming together. The Mysore program at Motion Center is filling up fast and people seem to be excited about it and have been longing for it for some time. Finding other work has been the big snafu. Spending the last nine years honing in on yoga skills has its benefits for sure, but out there in the rest of the world it has me falling flat as a potential employee.

Pretty soon the Mysore program will begin and I'll be coming back to Philly for some workshops and all will be less melty. It is time to go into my little shala and breathe and love and practice.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Rehydrating a mushroom

This is the beginning of my third week in Providence. I kind of feel a bit like a two year old. The emotional pendulum swings so wildly. One moment I am basking in the glow of receiving a call to come in and audition for a class at the Boston Sports Club, and the next moment I am questioning what the #$%@ I am doing here. I am questioning how long my unemployment status will go on, and how many hours can Mike and I stare at each other in this heat without break.

On the practice front I am pleased to say that I am returning to the mat with regularity, vigorously scribbling thoughts into my current notebook, and hosting some guest in my yoga room (maybe you'll be next). My yoga room has finally transformed into my office now that we have Internet through the entire house. With little to do I am also reading a lot. Some yoga material, but others books, fascinating books, books like I used to read when I lived in NY and took the subway everywhere. That feels like a return to something solid and exciting.

Other things that this Providence life is inspiring:

We have one TV with very little to offer so it is off like 90% of the time.
Mike and I are riding our bikes everywhere. My car hasn't moved in three weeks.
Eating local. We have this amazing farmers market every Thursday and that's where we do all the produce and dairy shopping.

Sure I miss Philly. I miss all the yoga students. I miss the comfort, and security. I feel the fire of Tapas, and although I am afraid I think I like it.

By the end of this week (at least according to my dry erase board) I'll have a fully updated workshop schedule. Including stops in Philly and a retreat in Guatemala!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Two Weeks and Two Days

This is not a vacation. I am not coming home Philly. I will not be resuming the Saturday and Tuesday yoga time slots anytime soon. I am not preparing for Teacher Training. This is some weird stuff.

I am trying to find my way. Reestablish a real relationship with myself and the practice of yoga. Providence has a quiet way about it, and its authentic silence, its off the grid-ness, is allowing me, and I can hear Micheal Carroll in my head even as I write this, to drop the cape. Even more so I am asking myself to drop the costume.

You know what I am talking about!

I have been reading from my notebooks before I start practice. Trying to find those gems that make their way into yoga classes that I teach. Trying to inspire myself. This morning I read something that I wrote boldly in the margin. It said, "You've got devotion, now what?"
Now What?

I woke up this morning with a clear vision, and an urgency, an energy to begin the exploration of just that question. I hope that this begins a daily blog of this very interesting journey. Finding myself in Providence, and exploring the action of devotion. I have said this in yoga class and I am repeating here, where bhakti (devotion) meets shakti (energy) that intersection...that's abhyasa...that's practice, and as always..that's the juice.