Tuesday's are epic teaching days for me, and most times I make the self practice at 1pm over at Wake Up Yoga. Yesterday after teaching my first class instead of running to practice I needed to eat something, and that was the end of that. No practice yesterday. Which even as I am writing this could be the #1 reason I was overcome with frustration, and couldn't really find my rhythm for the remainder of the day.
I think that in all areas of my life I hold the bar really high. So, after teaching last night's usually very inspiring class I felt like I let the whole lot of students down. I couldn't say what I wanted to say, I was stumbling and fumbling around searching for the way to weave the whole class together. I missed the mark precisely because I wasn't sure what I was aiming at.
I dream of other jobs. Jobs that are just that jobs. A place to go to work, and when your are not at work, your not at work. I fantasize about health care, steady paychecks, paid vacation, Saturday and Sunday. My husband swears I couldn't do it. He reassures me that this is what I not only love, but in a way what I was designed to do. Is this my dharma?
Today will be clearer because there will be practice. Practice = clarity.
My drop backs workshop is filling up! If you are interested you should come because who knows when I'll change it all up, and relinquish my teacher role, and get my self a real job.....a job that requires shoes.
8 comments:
I loved your class last night. You really have a knack for fully preparing the class for something that most of us didn't think that we could approach. Even though you were quite tongue tied, I and I think everyone else got the point whether you think you had one or not. Thank you.
It is really like this:
When the teacher is ready the student/s appear.
It is not really like this:
When the student is ready the teacher appears.
I disagree with you Jill! Last night still has me contemplating so much. You always leave me with something to aim at. Coming to your classes gives me fuel for home practice more than anything else. Thank you for ALWAYS being an inspiration!
I hope you don't stop teaching.
There was a lot to feel and do and breathe through last night, Jill. This was a good thing, a full class. I came in sad, and frustrated, and angry, and curled up, and at a loss, and while the things that caused those heavy feelings have not gone away, there was some buoyancy and opening up by the end of class.
you don't always summon your trademark simple and beautiful and slightly goofy metaphors. part of why we come is that we like the playing and pushing and feeling through new things.
don't set bar so high you can't see where you're at now. or something. mainly class last night opened something new. and with humor. is good for me.
gah. i meant to say "you don't always HAVE TO summon your trademark metaphors" and so forth.
Ay, Dios mio! That dream job does not exist, Jill. Everyone goes home with aspects of their job. I sleep, eat and drink with mine - and have to work on a computer hours and hours every day. The "benefits" of your job far outweigh, in many respects, the terrible "health plans" some of us have, which basically give us access to pills and other panacea. And I agree with Mike - you were designed to teach.
love and many, many blessings to you, maestra! (which means "teacher" AND "master" in Spanish).
shoes go to your January 3, 2009 posting
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