Monday, January 03, 2011

First month...

I overheard two students talking this morning about how tired they were. I can relate. I think that I slept well considering I am pretty sure that there is at least one mouse running around my otherwise neat little flat. Registration was pretty straight forward yesterday and then there was conference so all in all my first day went OK. Although the place and the practice is very familiar to me now I am struck by feelings of uncertainly, loneliness, and gripped by fear. I asked myself 100 times yesterday, "what am I doing here?"

The practice room this morning was stifling. Maybe it was the sharp turn of heat, maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was the surprising depth (considering I have been very much out of practice), most likely it was all things meshed together. After back bends I took to the ladies changing room and put my body directly on the cool marble floor and stayed there until I felt like I wasn't going to just pass out.

The two students said, "What did Guruji used to say?" "First month...tired, second month..pain, third month...flying."

1 comment:

Sara said...

You'll be flying in no time. Your practice is strong and so are you. Perhaps you just need a few days of readjusting and dusting off.