4/12

While most of January seemed to fly by these last few days have felt much slower as I am starting to feel the intensity of such a long practice. For all the yoga nerds out there I am practicing primary series into intermediate up to bakasana A & B, plus backbending, drop backs, and assisted drop backs and why not throw some ankle catching in there and closings. For all the non yoga nerds that is about an hour and forty five minutes of practice in the most intense environment an Ahstangi can experience. On a personal level Thursday's have not been my finest hour and I have had to apologize for my irritated and cranky behavior. Sanskrit has also picked up a more intense character and the days are getting hotter and that doubt that I had sort of under control after last weeks conference is back also with a new intensity. As I was walking to meet a friend for breakfast I thought, "ok...maybe it is time to go home now."

Instead of calling Air France and changing my ticket I'll be registering for my second month at the shala on Monday. It has been a pretty profound four weeks. I miss Mike and my dogs, I miss the students in Providence and often think about them in the morning on my predawn walk to the shala. On Wednesday in chanting I just starting crying. Lakshmish talks about the baby lotus in the heart and at that moment I felt like my baby lotus heart just about broke open. I have been getting some awesome emails from friends and family and yoga student...these are helping me focus on my business here and not what I am missing at home.