From Adam

'You cannot stay on the summit forever; you have to come down again. So why bother in the first place?Just this; What is above knows what is below, but what is below does not know what is above. Oneclimbs, one sees. One descends, one sees no longer, but one has seen. There is an art of conducting oneself in the lower regions by the memory of what one saw higher up. When one can on longer see, one can at least still know.'

Rene Daumal

I give myself like a wave

It is 4am in Philadelphia, and in India it is 2pm. My whole body is confused. I woke up in a soft bed with Mike's arms wrapped tightly around me, and for a moment I didn't know where I was. It was kind of a long moment, I turned to Mike and stroked his face, focusing my eyes and then I felt it..I am home.

I would love to be able to write about this experience, but I even had a hard time talking about it last night. So much has happened in the last 9 weeks. Soon I'll have something to say......maybe.

I woke with this poem rolling around in my consciousness. As I sit here and read it in its entirety there are just too many sections that are bringing me meaning, I'll just share a particularly potent one and maybe later more.

As on the shore of the ocean
Paul Valery

To remain sea and not to cede
The power of motion!
Fated to flow back
Rasping, regretfully,
To be reduced, to be restored,
To be transformed into immutable number.

As idea to the body returns,
As thought from the point falls
Where its secret cause,
Having dared and lifted it,
It cannot but return
To the pure and simple presence,
To all things less itself,
Even though not itself,
Itself never for long

The One Thing....

I am sitting in Paris. It is chilly and once again I am in an outfit that I really thought was cute in India and is kind of a hot mess here in Paris. What can I say? It feels like years since I have been home, and in some ways like forever ago that I was in the Shala. The travel in India is some tough stuff, but the payoffs, oh the payoffs, it is beauty and sound and experience that ties everything together for me. I already miss her, sweet intense India.

I am still ruminating on what I am bringing home with me from India. I know have been changed!

What I am most looking forward to:

Holding my husbands hand, no other hand is like his.

Sqeezing and snuggling with my dog Angie, remembering that not all creatures are loved like her

Sleeping in my own bed

Practicing in the place that I make my home

I am returning to teaching this Monday and check back in for more details about the launch of the new website and upcoming workshops/master classes

Hari OM

The Wheels on the Bus

It has, just as I suspected been a very wild ride so far. 18 people traveling in India, all except for me first timers, is even harder than it sounds. I don't have all that much time to write, nor I have even begun to process the experience, but here is some juice rolling around in my head.

I miss the Shala (really bad)

I miss Tomas and Carol (even worse)

I miss Mike (more than I can say)

The Arabian Sea is magic. ( I was still practicing at half 4)

I finally got to "the point" (a place where the Bay of Bengal, the Arabian Sea, and the Indian Ocean merge)

Akbar has a really powerful resting place

The Agra Fort should not have been skipped on my first trip

The Taj is more amazing than I remember (I did the walk of love with Tina)

Delhi is India FULL ON

Going in for a Harmonium and coming out with a roll of tape (this is a good story)

I really am grateful for coffee day

Here I am now in Rishikesh. Words can not describe this experience.

I'll be home on Friday, see you then!

More To Come

I am in Kerala.

It is beautiful.

I am very oily.

Much to Blog About Later.

Now not only do I miss Mike, but also Tomas, Carol!

The Charm

I am sitting in my room waiting....waiting for a white Ambassador car to arrive and take me away from Mysore.

As I sit here so tired..I have been up since 3am it is now 11:40pm, and having said goodbye to my dear friends I am also quite sad.

It is still two weeks until I see my husband, or squeeze my dog. Two weeks until I breathe fresh air, and come down form the cosmic high.

As I left the shala this morning I debated if I should tell Sharath that I was leaving. I walked into the office and said that today was my last practice, and that I was leaving Mysore that evening. I thanked him, and he just said, "you'll be back" with a smile.

Off on another travel adventure into the unknown. I'll keep blogging, I am sure there will be some Indian madness in my future!

An Unholy Hour

For this being my third trip to Mysore I have had loads of first, both in and out of the Shala. This morning my alarm clock went off at 3:50am. I think the first thought that went wave like through my mind was, “come on, you’ve got to be kidding.” As I pulled myself out of bed, I heard the rain. The next thought wave, “rain, just perfect.” I walked, more like shuffled to the Shala. I have never had the experience of being in the first batch of Mysore students, a small group of students were already waiting at the gate. After the gate was opened I walked into the empty room and its energy felt different, probably because I felt very different this morning. I put my mat down, went to the changing room, and then headed back to the mat to start. I glanced at the Shala clock it read 4:45am, 4:30am real time.

Practice at that hour in the Shala is very serious, and quiet. It is at least an hour before the first; “One more!” is heard. I also noticed the efficient nature of the students at the time. Even just an hour later I always feel like the fastest, but this morning my tempo synchronized perfectly. I felt very at home. I had a really nice practice. After drop backs Sharath came to assist me, and my hands on the final back bend went right to my calves. I could feel my heels grounding, my legs pulsing, and yes my heart wide open. When I came up, eye to eye with Sharath he said, “Monday, you take Ustrasana.” In that moment I couldn’t say out loud that I would not be here on Monday. I just nodded my head, and put my palms together and thanked him.

I was finished practice by 6:15am, real time.

The hearts memory

Gratitude

That's all today.

Or Just After

Well, it is Tuesday. I leave Friday night. I started cleaning up the room that I have called home for the last seven weeks. This routine feels familiar. You start my making the piles, piles of trash, piles of laundry, piles of all the things that you will give to those who are staying on, piles of the clothes that you started the journey with, and the pile of clothes that you are ending the journey with, the small gifts, and the yoga books that you just had to have. All the things that will journey on with you, and all the “stuff” left behind.

I am really trying hard not to run around like a mad woman. I am trying to enjoy my last days here. To soak in, rather than wring out. As I arrived for practice this morning Sharath said “you come 4:45.” It felt like a metaphor for the depth that I have climbed. As I approach my last practices I am trying to allow the space in my head and in my body that will tie all this together. The aloneness, the togetherness, the struggle, the release, all the chanting and the vibration that has remained. Wallace Stevens says it better,

"I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendos
The black bird whistling
Or just after.